Thirty-Four

Our final homestudy visit was done thirty-four days ago.

THIRTY. FOUR.

And nothing has happened since. I feel like we are stuck in this rut, a stagnant pool of just plain old WAITING. There is nothing more we can do on our end, except sit and wait on caseworkers and government employees to make this happen.

The only light at the end of this tunnel is that we know our caseworker is required to have our paperwork completed and turned in on or before February 5th. Twelve more days. Then it will take another 2-3 weeks from that date to get an approval.

I guess this whole time we just kept hoping it would get done earlier than the last possible day. But its not looking like that is going to happen.

So for the last 34 days, I have been trying to focus my attention on other things in life.

Pregnant women nest, and apparently– so do adoptive moms. I spend my time cleaning, vacumming and dusting our formerly spare bedroom, now to be named MY SON’S BEDROOM. (I can’t even tell you how much I love the sound of that!) I look through clearance aisles when we go shopping to find toys and books. I have bought a minimal amount of clothing in common sizes (just used stuff so far) so that we have something in the closet and dresser drawers.

I cross days off my calendar with quick precision, and anxiously check the mailbox each day JUST IN CASE our license should happen to show up. I go through the rest of our routine each day, making dinner and cleaning the house.

I have spent the last 34 days finding a church for our family, and we’ve gone for 3 Sundays in a row now. (Shocker!) I just get through each day, and count how many more days until February 5th. I pencil activities in on our family calendar, wondering when we will have an extra set of activities going on for another child.

I spend my time thinking how selfish I am that I struggle with the waiting. In comparison to many other people that are adopting infants, or going through an international adoption, this wait really ain’t nothin’.

But it’s still hard.