The One Gift I Really Want

 I sit here on December 21st, just a few days before the big day. I think of all the presents wrapped and under the tree, ready to be opened. I look back on all of the effort I put into each and every gift, because I truly enjoy the giving more than receiving now. I love the look on someone’s face when they open a present that they absolutely love.

I get to witness that look so many times on Christmas morning from my kids, and it makes me very happy.

But all that work, all that time, all that money… and it’s over in the blink of an eye. Every year it seems to take SO. DARN. LONG. for Christmas morning to get here, and every year we sit amidst piles of wrapping paper and empty gift boxes, making comments about how fast it all went.

This year, I really want to relish Christmas Eve and Christmas morning in our house. I want to take our time, eat some breakfast, and relax before jumping into piles of gifts that will be opened in about 30 seconds flat. I want to have some coffee, let the dogs out, and spend a few quiet moments in my living room looking at the sparkling tree, the beautiful snow in the front yard, and the quiet of an early morning.

I may have thought of lots of things I want for Christmas this year, but there is one gift — one intangible gift– that will not be under the tree for me this year.

A pause button.

I want to be able to pause certain moments of these next few days, creating a still scene I can just look at for a bit. I want to slow down the 4 children that are growing up fast, who will wake up with bed-head and an anticipation of unknown gifts under the tree. I want to pause the scene of my 9-year old–my baby– and enjoy the pure excitement and joy on her face. I want to pause and soak in the looks on my kids’ faces when their dad opens his gifts and loves what they picked out for him. I want to pause the feeling of pride that warms my heart when I see my kids open their gifts from each other, knowing they each took a little bit of time to stop and think about giving to their siblings. All fighting and bickering aside, this is one rare day they put some thought into EACH OTHER.

I just want to slow it down. I want to appreciate it more, and I want to take lots of mental pictures. Is that too much to ask for?