Now THIS is GOOD

* I’m still on VACATION! This post reprinted from 6/1/07. *

Last Sunday at church, our Pastor was recognizing all of the kids that were graduating from high school, and I realized how fast these kids grow up. We spend all of this time getting them ready for the world, and once they are ready to venture out into that world, we don’t want to let them go. Part of the sermon that our Pastor gave to the graduates was about putting “good” back into your life. Making sure that everything you do, you do because it is GOOD, and hence makes you feel good. It’s not about fame, its not about money, it’s about having the kind of life that makes you look at your life and say “Now THIS is GOOD.”

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My oldest daughter graduates from elementary school today. Where has the time gone?

I remember bawling like a baby on her first day of kindergarten… Oh how tiny she seemed in her pretty new dress, and shiny new backpack on her back. This big grin on her face, showing me and everyone else she was ready to take on the world– or at least the world of her tiny kindergarten classroom. Thankfully, I managed to make it all the way out to the car before opening the floodgates and letting the tears flow. I was so happy for her, yet so sad to see a certain phase in her life–and mine– coming to an end.

So today marks another milestone in this precious little girl’s life. She’s growing up so fast, right before my eyes. As much as I want to rejoice as she becomes this amazing young woman, part of me wants to stop time, and keep her just the way she is. She’s receiving many awards today, and has even been selected to give a speech about her experiences in elementary school. I’m so darn proud of her, I could just bust.

She’s 11, not yet a teenager, and we’re just venturing into the phase of “pre-teen.” She hasn’t gotten the mouthy attitude yet, she hasn’t started to pull away from me yet– choosing her friends over me. I know in my heart that day is coming, but I haven’t wanted to admit it. She still has a heart of gold, and is probably the most compassionate person I know. She has always been one to stick up for a friend in need, and truly is a good person.

She still wants me to tuck her in at night, and she still plants a kiss on my cheek before going to sleep. This wonderful little girl of mine tells me she loves me every day, and still likes to hold my hand when we’re out shopping. I’m sad that this phase will soon be ending as well. Kindergarten seems like such a long time ago, and soon– so will today.

As I sit and think about how sad today will be for me, I also realize that I can watch my beautiful little girl up there, giving her speech, and think to myself:

Where the path leads – Part 2

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We went back to youth group last night. We could have taken the kids to church, and gone out for a nice quiet Valentines dinner, but something kept telling me I needed to go to church and try the youth service out again.

After a lot of singing and some awesome Christian rock music, a couple people got up and spoke about various things, and then it happened.

The THIRD sign.

The youth pastor’s wife (in her early 20s) got up and said she was going to tell a story that was very difficult for her, something she had never shared before in front of a group. She started out by reading this Scripture:

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans
to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.” (Jeremiah 29:11-14)

She then went on to tell us about the difficult childhood she had. Her father left when she was a little girl, and she was devastated. She told of the night she got home from church, her father handed her some cookies, and told her he was leaving and wasn’t coming back. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room. She went on to tell how she thought she was being such a “good Christian” while she was at church, yet when she was home– she was mean and disrespectful to her mother and her siblings. She wasn’t seeking God with her whole heart, so she wasn’t finding any answers to her problems.

She told of how when she met the man who is now her husband, she was embarrassed to bring him home to her family. She was ashamed that the man she was marrying– who was going to be a PASTOR – was going to meet her very un-Christian dysfunctional family. The part that really got to me the most was when she said how much it breaks her heart that there probably were several teenagers in the room last night that live in the same type of situation. Parents who are split up, siblings who are drug addicts, and no role model to follow. But without seeking Him with our whole heart, these kids were not going to find the way out. How true.

Towards the end of the service, the pastor stood up and asked all of us adults to step forward in front of the stage. Then he asked the kids if there was anyone in the room that was feeling like they are in a similar situation, and they need help to “seek God with their whole heart.” He said if they raised their hand, one of us adults would come talk to them, pray for them, and listen.

I was amazed at how many kids raised their hand. There were lots of people in the room crying, boys and girls. Shocking to see how many kids live such dysfunctional lives, and how many of them wanted help, wanted someone to listen to them, wanted a shoulder to cry on.

I saw a girl raise her hand last night. We’ll call her Annie. She couldn’t have been more than maybe 13 or 14, but she looked so sad. She looked defeated. I went over to her, introduced myself, and she just collapsed into my arms, sobbing. I started to just hold her, rubbing her shoulders, trying to give her soothing words, and saying any prayer-like words I could think of. Of course I immediately started crying, too. My heart just broke knowing that whatever it was she was going through, she felt bad enough to break down in tears in front of all her friends and everyone else in the room. And I felt like I was failing her because I am no good at praying out loud, and I literally froze up and couldn’t think of what to say. I am not familiar with the Bible all that much, besides knowing the basics, and I am not comfortable praying out loud, because I’m afraid I will sound stupid.

I never realized just what kids are going through at this age. Its been a long time since I was a teenager, and I had such a good family life. My parents are still married, and there was never any drug or alcohol issues, and never any abuse of any kind. If anything, I was rebellious because my life was “too” perfect.

I’ve seen enough signs now to realize that this might be something I need to get involved in. It’s a good opportunity for me to learn to be a better person right along with these kids, and also to learn more about the Bible just as these kids are doing.

Not sure where this path leads – Part 1

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Last Wednesday night, hubby and I were asked to help out driving the church van for the youth group. We had to pick up about 13 kids and take them to the church, and then drive them all home when Youth Group was over with.

We decided to go ahead and stay through the youth service, since our kids were in their own kids service, and we had nothing else to do. So we stayed. Hubby used to be a youth sponsor in there with several other adults while he was off work with his injury. Once he went back to work, he just never had time for it anymore. I was in my own small group on Wednesday nights, and didn’t think I was probably cut out for hanging out with a bunch of 6th-12th graders.

Over the last couple months, we knew the church was in need of youth sponsors again. It’s a ministry that is in constant need of fresh faces— handling up to 100 teenagers at a time can wear on a person’s nerves week after week. We had talked about maybe getting back into it, and maybe them asking us to drive the van last week was the sign we were supposed to get?

Of course, the van ride was Ca-RAZY! Seriously, giggling girls, cool boys, iPods, and cell phones with ringtones probably not appropriate for church. We just kept looking at each other wondering what we had gotten ourselves into. After we got to the church and the kids all piled out of the van, we said to each other “Are you ready for this?” and we headed in. I made a mental note to myself that I was going to keep an open mind with these kids, and watch for a sign that this was something I was meant to do.

The pastor that spoke that night was a guest from another church– young 20s, very good-looking, and dressed totally like a teenager. He had their full attention because he was funny and he just “fit in.” I liked him immediately. He was “cool” in my book!

The first thing that raised my awareness was the Scripture he quoted. Of course, I can’t for the life of me remember the chapter or verse, but it referred to “Teach me, O Lord, to number my days…” If anyone happens to know this Scripture, please let me know where to find it!

What does all this mean? He explained it meant that we should NUMBER OUR DAYS – live each day for today, and not worry about tomorrow. We should stop and think every single day – What difference am I making in the world today? Granted it was geared more towards getting the youth to help out and be positive role models in their communities, but I felt like he was speaking to ME.

I left that night feeling pretty inspired, but just one measly sign wasn’t good enough for me, right?

Fast forward to this past Friday night. I got a phone call from the church asking me to help out with Worship Team (singing) at their Friday night service. I wasn’t all that excited about spending my Friday night at church, but I knew they always had problems finding people to help on Fridays, so I agreed.

What was the sermon about that night?

Making a difference in the lives of our youth.

I about fell out of my chair. Our youth pastor (different than the one that spoke on Wednesday night) spoke of how the youth today are known as the

• Blank Generation
• doofus generation
• the “generation that won’t accomplish anything of historical greatness.”
• Nowhere Generation

I listened carefully as the pastor asked all of us adults in the room to ask ourselves – “What kind of role model are you for today’s youth?” Do we argue, cuss people out, bitch about our co-workers. And what kind of example does that set for our youth today? I listened as all of those bullet points soared through the air and landed directly on ME.

Of course, I guess I needed just one more sign.

See the next post for the rest of this story…

Whatever

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Who would have thought that one little word could speak volumes yesterday.

Whatever.

It’s a word I have used probably a million times in my life. A simple word I have uttered so many times in response to countless situations.

Husband’s got me pissed off and I just want the argument to end? “WHATEVER.”

Which restaurant do you want to eat at tonight? “WHATEVER.”

The pastor we had as a guest yesterday was quite the presence. Big guy, tall, former football player, and he was an excellent speaker. He stood up on the stage, looming over us, and said he had a quite complicated prayer for us to learn and use daily, whenever we feel like things are not going the way we thought they would, or whenever we need to stop and ponder which direction our life should be going.

Are you ready for the complicated prayer? It’s one any of us can easily memorize.

Stand up.
Put your hands out in front of you, palms up.
Look up to heaven, and say this:

Whatever.

Easy, huh?

Whatever, God. Whatever you want to do with me, I leave my life in Your hands. Whatever direction You will my life to go in, whatever worries I have in my life, whatever stress I have going on. Whatever it is, whatever you decide, I stand by You.

Hubby and I just listened to that, looked at each other, and that was all that was needed. We have had so many things worrying us over the last year and a half, so many things stressing me the hell out, and just so many unknowns. But I have to just keep remembering that its all in due time, and whatever He wants for us, will happen. It won’t do me any good to waste my time obsessing over things that I cannot control.

So, whatever.

What’s Gotten Into Me Today?

If you are reading this through a Feed Reader, I apologize! I am currently in the process of moving old posts over to this new blog. Bear with me!

I must be feeling particularly preachy today, because I’m about to shove some more stuff in your face to think about.

One of the things I have a problem with being a Christian is that they believe that homosexuality is a sin. Now, first off, I am not a homosexual. I do believe that being homosexual is something genetically engrained at birth. I don’t believe anyone can just “turn gay” or that one experience with someone of the same sex just all of a sudden “makes you gay.” I think it is something that is always there, maybe not out in the open, but the tendencies or predisposition is there from birth.

I have met people that have “come out of the closet” and I sit there and think, “Well, duh… I could have told you that long ago.” And then there are others where it is a complete shock. Do I find it disgusting? NO. Am I appalled by it? NO. I have a lot of pride and admiration for people that openly admit their sexual orientation, even though society as a whole is against it. For them to subject themselves to the pain and ridicule that some idiots force upon them, it takes quite a person to be able to do that. While its obviously not something I choose to engage in, what people do in the privacy of their own homes is none of my business.

I know that the church I belong to believes that homosexuality is a SIN. A few weeks ago, I was sitting in church listening to a sermon about things the Devil tempts us to do, and all of the usual things were mentioned– drus, alcohol, gambling… and then homosexuality came up. If God loves all of us, and forgives all, why doesn’t that include people that happen to be attracted to those of the same sex? Does that make them less of a person? Can’t we just “turn them straight?” I don’t believe so.

I have a family member that is a lesbian. Her and her “partner” have been together for over 20 years. Do I think they are sinners? NO WAY. My kids accept them as Aunt “Jane” and Aunt “Joan.” (duh, yes the names have been changed.) Her partner is a member of our family, and has always been included in every family activity. As far as I’m concerned, they have been together longer than most marriages, and without the perks of being a married couple. Would I be against gay marriage becoming legal? NO. I truly believe this couple and all other gay/lesbian couples should have all of the same rights that my husband and I have as a married couple. However, because one of them doesn’t have a penis (lol), they are treated differently as a couple. It doesn’t make much sense.