Recycling Nazi
I have a confession to make.
I don’t recycle.
I know, I know… It’s good for the environment. Living green, preserving our natural resources, insuring our future generations still have space in their landfills for their garbage.
Blah, blah, blahbiddy blah.
Still, I don’t recycle.
Why you ask? Because in our house, my husband is a Recycling Nazi. And I, on the other hand, choose to rebel against any and all authority.
When I take the last of the Little Debbie Nutty Bars* out of the box, it becomes an obsession for me to get that cardboard box into the garbage can before my husband sees it. Because if he does, he shouts “Break that cardboard down and take it to the recycling bin!” with a possible outcry of “Heil Hitler Recycling!”
I might just be imagining that last part.
Finish that bottle of shampoo? Don’t even think about sticking it in the bathroom wastebasket without checking first to see if it’s able to be recycled. Shame on you! Get it to the recycling bin!
OR, if you’re like me, you will stick it in the kitchen garbage can, as far down underneath everything as you can get it, to avoid getting caught by the recycling Nazi.
The other day I took the last of the Oatmeal Cream Pies* from the pantry, and as I was crumpling up the box to stick it in the garbage can, my husband snuck into the kitchen. He took one look at the box, looked at my face KNOWING I was going to hide it, and said “Just collapse that down and put it in the recycling bin.”
DAMN! Foiled again!
The garbage can in my office is full of empty water bottles, Pepsi cans, and probably more Little Debbie boxes*. God only knows the reign of terror I would succumb to should my husband take a gander in there. My method of throwing paper on top of it all probably will be figured out eventually.
So it has become a game. How dictator-y (yes thats totally a word!) he can be, and how rebellious I can be in return. The kitchen counter next to our sink is always full of items to be taken out to “recycling nirvana” (aka the GARAGE). Spaghetti sauce jars**, salsa jars, tuna cans, Campbells soup cans, ketchup bottles. It’s a competition to see how many things can pile up before someone gets fed up and hauls it to the garage.
Him being the neat freak that he is, makes waiting impossible. It physically pains him to see those things sitting out. Me being a procrastinator and avoider of all things “housework” could wait, like, for-EVAH.
So usually, I win! Viva la garbage can! (with a mighty fist pump in the air)
Marriage is bliss.
* On a side note, why yes. In fact, I DO have an obsession with Little Debbie snacks. We will save that for another post.
** Make my OWN sauce, you say? snort, giggle, snort. You’re funny.
10 Comments
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Sincerely, Jenni » Recycling Nazi · Staringfrog.com — February 26, 2010 @ 1:01 PM
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Sincerely Jenni — February 26, 2010 @ 8:23 PM
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By tamara b, February 26, 2010 @ 11:05 AM
you’re funny. our house is the same except I’m the recycling nazi and ryan isn’t. It’s sometimes funny but mostly just wasteful and stinks – trash piling up, and my attitude souring
Make your own sauce? Please. You’re a working mom… bring on the storebought stuff!
By Courtenay
Twitter: IASoupMama
, February 26, 2010 @ 11:38 AM
Love it! Since moving out to Green Acres, we’ve been sorting our recyclables oh-so-carefully as we don’t have the city stopping by weekly to remove them from the curb. This plan was fabulous until the wind came sweepin’ down the plain and blew our recycling everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I am quite certain that when the farmer gets ready to plow the cornfield behind our house, he’ll discover not only all of our formerly well-sorted recycling, but also the lids to two of our recyclable-plastic recycling bins. Recycling FAIL.
Courtenay´s last blog ..Milestone: 100th Post
By Jackie, February 26, 2010 @ 12:26 PM
I cannot tell you how much I’m laughing right now…I’m sort of the Wannabe Recycling Nazi in our house…except I get a wee bit lazy and then our shampoo bottles, paper, cans all end up in the trash can. Love this post.
Jackie
Jackie´s last blog ..Anticipating Beauty and Growth…
By Hannah @ Happily Southern, February 26, 2010 @ 12:32 PM
We use to recycle… but haven’t for awhile now!
Stopping by from Friday Follow to say Hi!
Hannah @ HappilySouthern
http://www.happilysouthernreviews.blogspot.com
By Debby, February 26, 2010 @ 1:12 PM
Firt of all Little Debbie Nutty Bars are the best!
We do recycle and we are both very good at it.
When my kids come over I turn into the Nazi!
Debby´s last blog ..RANDOM DOZEN
By Blondie, February 26, 2010 @ 1:30 PM
Lol…my IL’s have been staying with us for 4 months (gawd I know!! They’re going home tomorrow!! YAY!), but my FIL is NUTS about recycling! I mean everything I throw in the garbage he takes out! Lol…you know I had to rebel and throw it in the trash on purpose!! Hehe…I’m evil!
Blondie´s last blog ..What a beautiful wedding….
By brainella, February 26, 2010 @ 1:30 PM
I think we were twins separated at birth.
brainella´s last blog ..Toss it, baby!
By Bridgette Groschen, February 27, 2010 @ 1:29 PM
Hi there! Just popping in to check out your blog from Friday Follow. I’m your lastest follower!
Hope you can visit mine!
Bridgette Groscen
The Groschen Goblins
http://www.groscengoblins@blogspot.com