#LIFE #FAIL

FAILThe picture pretty much sums it up. This has pretty much been my life lately. I am failing at every possible thing imaginable. The kids’ summer sports are in full swing, and so everything else is put on the back burner.

I’ve gotten pulled over twice in the last week and a half for speeding. I came away with one warning and one $114 ticket. We got a notice in the mail that I made an error on our tax return a couple years ago, and we now owe money to the state. My 6 year old laptop took a crap and I’ve had to try and move everything I possibly can over to my husband’s laptop– itunes, pictures, our checkbook… UGH.

I have no energy, yet I stay up late at night because I can’t sleep. I’m eating poorly, and have I mentioned I QUIT WEIGHT WATCHERS??? I hate even admitting that, because that one thing alone is pretty much the icing on the big fat FAIL CAKE I’m currently snacking on. [Actually, I've been surviving on concession stand food, meatball footlongs from Subway and Dr. Pepper, but I digress...] I work all day, come home, snack on junk, and head to the ball fields. Come home, watch TV, go to bed and the next day… rinse and repeat. The weekends are chaotic, and I feel like when I do get home, I have no idea where to even begin.

My husband has taken over the laundry, because apparently I’m seriously too lazy to get off the couch and do it myself. My blogging has been non-existent, and I honestly think I’ve cooked TWO meals in the last month. [And I might be overestimating there.] I’ve lost the battle with giving up caffeine, and it’s been months since I’ve exercised.

No kidding.

I cannot be one of those moms that clips coupons, has a clean house, clean kids, clean laundry, a balanced checkbook and still has time to run to the gym. I cannot be that mom. I WANT to be that mom, oh how badly I WANT TO BE THAT MOM. Sadly, my motivation and desire and ambition have all taken a long-ass vacation to some sunny tropical resort and apparently forgot to invite me.

I make myself to-do lists in the morning and by the time I get home from work, I forget about them. I get fired up during the day to go home and pack my lunch for the next day, get a gym bag ready, and then when I get home– those thoughts disappear from my brain because I’ve got too many other things going on. Really, I only have two kids to keep track of– it shouldn’t be this overwhelming for me.

I don’t know if its the weather, our lack of summer or whatever… I have no energy. I’m in a rut, my friends, and I need to get out. I need a break, I need to recharge and just have some time to get caught up on everything I’m behind on. I know that in the midst of so many bad things happening in this world, I should be grateful for the blessings I have, but SERIOUSLY PEOPLE!!!

Because right now? I’m just keeping my head above water. BARELY.

Someone please tell me you’ve been through this before, and know how to fix it.

  4 comments for “#LIFE #FAIL

  1. Monica
    Twitter: monnik_
    June 10, 2013 at 1:09 PM

    Oh, sweetie. Be gentle with yourself.

    We can’t all do EVERYTHING. Coupon clippers? HAHAHA. Ain’t nobody got time for that!! Smile

    I am in the exact same spot (welll, without the speeding tickets. I must be luckier in that regard!) Some days I stress about it (most days) but other days, I try to remember that I’m doing the best I can. My house might not be clean, I might have an extra 30# on my butt, and I haven’t blogged since APRIL, but you know what? That’s ok. Our busy family is still happy most of the time. I’ll take it.
    Monica´s last blog post ..The Boy’s First Prom – and a Perfect Weekend.

    • Karin B : )
      June 10, 2013 at 2:48 PM

      Jenni — I have several thoughts on this, but first off — take care of YOU. You are clearly setting yourself behind in many ways. I’ve witnessed you (via blog) in your proud, balanced, confident moments — all well-deserved — and I trust this is a crappy valley in life and it is temporary. Easy on the judgement, too, as I think you are operating on fumes and you are doing what it takes to get by (if it’s grabbing a sub, etc). One suggestion is looking at setting limits, which of course is hard when I know how much you enjoy and support your kids’ sports, etc. Probably a wiser suggestion is to be more *present* in what you are doing, because I find that I make mistakes (ahem, gobs of speeding tix!) when my mind is wild and I’m not fully into what’s happening in front of me. It may sound silly, but as long as you are at the ballpark — take it in and enjoy it (friends, popcorn, cheering) and try to enjoy the Dr. Pepper instead of feeling like you failed. I’m still in awe of you going off pop for that long — wowza! I’ve been through this before, mainly when I’ve had severe bouts of depression — all temporary, but here and there I’ve learned how to better cope. limit-setting, assessing self-talk and take better care of mySelf : )

  2. June 20, 2013 at 9:49 AM

    Jenni,

    No body ever said you had to be a super mom! There are a million ways to be a good mom Confessions: 1. I HATE laundry and I have baskets and baskets of mis-matched socks that have no pair. 2. I HATE dinner time. The chaos, the planning, the clean up. And 3. I haven’t been to either gym (both of which I pay a monthly membership to) in months.

    You are so very clearly devoted to your children, your marriage and your career. I admire that in you. Although we have not met, your blog is witty and inspiring and so very true to the day-to-days of motherhood.

    A few tips:
    1. Go for a walk tonight, even if you don’t feel up for it.
    2. Drink a lot of water today.
    3. Plan one hour just for you this weekend, and don’t feel guilty about it.
    4. (this sounds crazy, but DO IT) Clean out one closet/drawer in your home. Organize it and then walk away from it. IT WORKS!

    Friends in motherhood and life,

    Carey
    Carey H´s last blog post ..Unwind in Mexico

    • June 24, 2013 at 11:11 AM

      Thank you CAREY! I needed that!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

Click to Insert Smiley

SmileBig SmileGrinLaughFrownBig FrownCryNeutralWinkKissRazzChicCoolAngryReally AngryConfusedQuestionThinkingPainShockYesNoLOLSillyBeautyLashesCuteShyBlushKissedIn LoveDroolGiggleSnickerHeh!SmirkWiltWeepIDKStruggleSide FrownDazedHypnotizedSweatEek!Roll EyesSarcasmDisdainSmugMoney MouthFoot in MouthShut MouthQuietShameBeat UpMeanEvil GrinGrit TeethShoutPissed OffReally PissedMad RazzDrunken RazzSickYawnSleepyDanceClapJumpHandshakeHigh FiveHug LeftHug RightKiss BlowKissingByeGo AwayCall MeOn the PhoneSecretMeetingWavingStopTime OutTalk to the HandLoserLyingDOH!Fingers CrossedWaitingSuspenseTremblePrayWorshipStarvingEatVictoryCurseAlienAngelClownCowboyCyclopsDevilDoctorFemale FighterMale FighterMohawkMusicNerdPartyPirateSkywalkerSnowmanSoldierVampireZombie KillerGhostSkeletonBunnyCatCat 2ChickChickenChicken 2CowCow 2DogDog 2DuckGoatHippoKoalaLionMonkeyMonkey 2MousePandaPigPig 2SheepSheep 2ReindeerSnailTigerTurtleBeerDrinkLiquorCoffeeCakePizzaWatermelonBowlPlateCanFemaleMaleHeartBroken HeartRoseDead RosePeaceYin YangUS FlagMoonStarSunCloudyRainThunderUmbrellaRainbowMusic NoteAirplaneCarIslandAnnouncebrbMailCellPhoneCameraFilmTVClockLampSearchCoinsComputerConsolePresentSoccerCloverPumpkinBombHammerKnifeHandcuffsPillPoopCigarette