The picture pretty much sums it up. This has pretty much been my life lately. I am failing at every possible thing imaginable. The kids’ summer sports are in full swing, and so everything else is put on the back burner.
I’ve gotten pulled over twice in the last week and a half for speeding. I came away with one warning and one $114 ticket. We got a notice in the mail that I made an error on our tax return a couple years ago, and we now owe money to the state. My 6 year old laptop took a crap and I’ve had to try and move everything I possibly can over to my husband’s laptop– itunes, pictures, our checkbook… UGH.
I have no energy, yet I stay up late at night because I can’t sleep. I’m eating poorly, and have I mentioned I QUIT WEIGHT WATCHERS??? I hate even admitting that, because that one thing alone is pretty much the icing on the big fat FAIL CAKE I’m currently snacking on. [Actually, I've been surviving on concession stand food, meatball footlongs from Subway and Dr. Pepper, but I digress...] I work all day, come home, snack on junk, and head to the ball fields. Come home, watch TV, go to bed and the next day… rinse and repeat. The weekends are chaotic, and I feel like when I do get home, I have no idea where to even begin.
My husband has taken over the laundry, because apparently I’m seriously too lazy to get off the couch and do it myself. My blogging has been non-existent, and I honestly think I’ve cooked TWO meals in the last month. [And I might be overestimating there.] I’ve lost the battle with giving up caffeine, and it’s been months since I’ve exercised.
I cannot be one of those moms that clips coupons, has a clean house, clean kids, clean laundry, a balanced checkbook and still has time to run to the gym. I cannot be that mom. I WANT to be that mom, oh how badly I WANT TO BE THAT MOM. Sadly, my motivation and desire and ambition have all taken a long-ass vacation to some sunny tropical resort and apparently forgot to invite me.
I make myself to-do lists in the morning and by the time I get home from work, I forget about them. I get fired up during the day to go home and pack my lunch for the next day, get a gym bag ready, and then when I get home– those thoughts disappear from my brain because I’ve got too many other things going on. Really, I only have two kids to keep track of– it shouldn’t be this overwhelming for me.
I don’t know if its the weather, our lack of summer or whatever… I have no energy. I’m in a rut, my friends, and I need to get out. I need a break, I need to recharge and just have some time to get caught up on everything I’m behind on. I know that in the midst of so many bad things happening in this world, I should be grateful for the blessings I have, but SERIOUSLY PEOPLE!!!
Because right now? I’m just keeping my head above water. BARELY.
Someone please tell me you’ve been through this before, and know how to fix it.