For the last few months, we have been keeping our eye on a sweet little 9-year old boy available for adoption through the Iowa Foster Care system. I have been checking his profile every few days, and can’t help sitting and staring at his picture. I always try to imagine him being a part of our family, and I felt such a connection to him. I can’t even explain it.
This morning, I checked the listings again, just because I wanted to see his bright, smiling nine-year-old face.
And he was gone.
He’s been adopted.
Part of me is happy that he has found a forever family, and that he won’t be spending any more time in a group foster home.
But the other part of me? Wishes he could have hung around a little longer for us.
We haven’t even started classes or had our home-study completed yet, so it will probably be sometime this fall before we are able to begin being matched to a child.
I was just SO SURE that this adorable little boy was THE ONE, and I felt such a connection to him that I can’t even explain. I know his favorite sport is baseball, and he loves math and science. I know that he wants to be a physicist when he grows up.
I was so sure that I even bought him two books about baseball a few weeks ago. Even though we had not met him, I just had this feeling– and I thought the books would make a nice little gift for our first meeting.
And now, we will never get that chance.
I know God has a reason for everything, and I am trying hard to have faith, be patient, and just TRUST HIM.
But while I’m doing that, how do I grieve the loss of someone I’ve never even met?
You do it the same way you would for someone you do know. One day at a time. Sorry you lost him.
AmyLK´s last [type] ..Helicopter Ride
Thanks Amy. I’m just relying on the knowledge that he finally got adopted. Every child deserves a family, and the right child for us is out there somewhere.
Twitter: IASoupMama
says:
Oh, honey… You’re grieving the possibility, the hopes and dreams and wishes and plans that aren’t going to come to be. You wouldn’t be feeling this way if you hadn’t already opened your heart to love — which is never a bad thing, but can become a painful thing.
This is the part where I type some standard platitude — the right child will come to you at the right time — or something. But I;’d rather hold your hand for a bit…
IASoupMama´s last [type] ..Heaven Has Never Gotten a Better Dog
You’re absolutely right. This is going to be a tough journey for us, but I guess the timing just wasn’t right. I’m sure there’s another child out there waiting for us!