We finished our SEVENTH class last night. Only three left to go!
Class #7 was titled “Gains & Losses: Helping Children Leave Foster Care”
The main lesson from the class was “planned and organized moves.” Whether the child is leaving foster care to an adoptive home, returning to their birth family, going to independent living, or even possibly to another foster home, the key to things going smoothly is making sure everything is planned and organized. Keeping the child involved and informed is important, and helps them transition better. They are able to accept and adapt to the changes better, and suffer from less trauma from it in the end.
We did some group exercises and watched a video, all dealing with this same topic– the disruption of a foster care placement. Bottom line, kids don’t stay in foster care forever. They will eventually move onto something, whether they age out of the system or find a forever family– being planned and organizing and preparing them for the changes that lie ahead is always the best action to take.
Another topic we discussed towards the end of class was “Openness in Adoption.” For those of you readers from Iowa… did you know that Iowa is a closed adoption state? Yes, you read that right. Iowa does not believe in open adoptions. When you adopt a child from the foster care, their records, their past, everything prior to their adoption becomes sealed. You never have access to it again. It’s like their entire past is wiped from the face of the earth.
Granted, it’s an archaic law, but probably one that will never change. Which is why our instructors told us that once we are matched with a child and have an adoption date set, we then need to take an afternoon to march into the DHS office. We need to request access to our child’s file, and if they won’t let us make copies of it– we start writing. Anything and everything that we think might be useful and necessary someday. Keep it all.
It’s sad that this is how things are, but someday that child will be happy we saved that part of their past.
So, back to “openness” in adoption. Since Iowa is a closed adoption state, once an adoption takes place, the adoptive parents have control over how open they want the adoption to be. If they want to remain in contact with the birth family, they can. This can be anything from sharing school pictures once a year, to sharing family dinners every Sunday afternoon. But by law, it’s not required.
Next week: EcoMaps… I have no idea what the heck those are. I guess we’ll find out!
Last night’s dinner was pasta with homemade sauce and meatballs, salad and bread. Dessert was red velvet cupcakes. YUM!
