Class #1: The Kick-Off

We attended our first PS-MAPP class for the adoption process Tuesday night.  For those of you that don’t know, PS-MAPP stands for Partnering for Safety-Model Approach to Parenting Partnership.

There were 22 people in our class, and 2 instructors.  The 22 people consisted of 10 couples, one single male and one single female.   Of the 10 couples, 8 were Caucasian.  One couple was Hispanic, and one was African-American.  The couples were all in the early 30s-migd 40s age range, and all had children already except for two.   The single male has no children and is approximately in his late 30s (I’m guessing).  The single female is a widow in her early sixties, grown children, interested in foster care.  

We did a little icebreaker activity as a way to introduce everyone and it was really fun.  We have such a fun group of people, and I am really looking forward to spending the next 10 weeks with them.   They will be an interesting group to learn more about.  We have every type of person in our group.   A roller derby mom to a winery owner to a DOT worker to a lawyer to a stay-home mom to a registered nurse.  We have it all!

This first class was hectic, and a little unorganized.  There was a lot of paperwork piled on us, and I felt overwhelmed as I finally realized this process was really getting started.  The instructors said the first couple classes would be like this, a lot of organizational and housekeeping things to get out of the way and then we would get into the nitty-gritty of the class.  I like the instructors, too.  They are really “in-your-face” which is something that I am not used to, but I think it’s necessary for a class like this.   I will be curious to see how many people make it all the way through the entire 10 weeks.

We watched a video where they interviewed several foster children about how they felt when they were taken away from their parents, and that made me get a little emotional.  They also interviewed a birth mother that had her children taken away for a few months to be put into foster care, and the raw emotions she felt were more than I could stand to listen to.  It was hard listening to her talk.  

I have a feeling this is only a drop in the bucket of what’s to come in this class.

We talked about several behaviors that children might exhibit, such as bedwetting, hoarding, clinging, dressing provocatively, aggression, and what those might mean.   We learned that rather than acting on how to fix those behaviors, we learned that first we needed to interpret what feelings those behaviors stemmed from, and then what caused those feelings were caused by.

For example, a child that exhibits signs of hoarding may be feeling worthless or abandoned because they were neglected by their birth parents.

A child may be inappropriately touching themselves or others because they are feeling pleasure and/or feeling guilty from being sexually abused by someone.      We can’t punish, change or fix negative behavior without first figuring out what is causing it.

We also have a lot of homework, and that’s really an understatement.  

1. We have several handouts to read through.

2. Read a story to study about a girl named Lily who was sexually abused by more than one family member. 

3. We have to read a pamphlet about Universal Precautions regarding bloodborne pathogens (HIV, Hepatitis B) and answer a questionnaire.  

4.  We have to gather references (lordy, theres a lot of references!)

5.  10-page Couple Profile completed by both of us.

6.  10-Page Family Profile

7.  14-page Personal Profile – Husband and I each need to complete a separate one of these

8.  My Child Profile – 2 pages – We need to complete one on each of our four children.

9.  Personal Profile – 2 pages - each of our four children need to fill one of these out themselves.

10.  Physicians Statements – Signed doctor’s statements for each family members. DONE!

11.  Floor plan with measurements of our house showing placement of beds, closets, doorways, windows, dressers, smoke detectors, carbon monoxide detectors, etc.

12. Safety & Emergency Agreement – indicating several things including that we have all guns and hunting bow (yes we have those) locked up, medicine is locked up, cleaning supplies are locked up, etc.

13.  Copies of drivers licenses

14. Copies of auto insurance

15. Copies of husband’s divorce decree

16. Copy of our marriage license

17. Copy our pay stubs

18. Copy of our pet vaccinations

19. Family photo, photo of our house and our pets

Every week they are going to add more to the list, so realistically, it is in our best interest to get all of this done before the bext class. 

WHICH IS TUESDAY NIGHT.   No pressure.   The state requires that everyone’s homestudy be completed within 110 days of the 1st class, which mean our clock started ticking 110 days from Tuesday…

I’m excited that we now have a light at the end of the tunnel, because I have read horror stories on various websites of people whose homestudies have drug on forever, but on that same note… this is happening FAST.