Oh, how many times these words have been uttered from my lips the last few days. Our foster kids left yesterday afternoon, and while our house is peacefully quiet again, I am still ready and waiting for the next phone call.

What I have learned in the last 3 weeks:

1. GOD HAS A PLAN. I am not sure what it is yet, but I do know that He was using these last three weeks as a way of preparing us for what’s to come. He has helped strengthen our marriage, bond more as a family, and know exactly what we are capable of. God knows right this very minute which child is meant to be ours, and I have complete faith that it will happen at the perfect time.

2. EVERY SINGLE CHILD, whether they are with you for a day, a week, a month, or a year– will find a place in youtr heart. We are blessed to have known these children, even if only for a short time. I am anxious to see where they end up in life, and I am excited to get updates on how they are doing.

3. While money is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, the government does certainly take their sweet time processing ANY kind of paperwork. This includes clothing reimbursements and monthly foster care payments. As of today, we have received nothing.

4. When you have to give notice that foster kids need to be removed from your home, expect the guilt trip to be laid on pretty thick by all involved. This includes the birth parents, caseworkers, visitation supervisor, and counselors.

5. Ask a lot of questions. And when you have asked every question you can think of, ask a few more.

6. An abusive parent is not an evil person. (Believe me, I had a hard time typing that statement.) They are people with no coping skills. They are parents that do not know the appropriate way to discipline their kids, and are resorting to using violence as a way to get rid of their stress and anger. They are not able to process that stress and anger any other way, and they snap. Sadly, they are passing this method down to their children as a learned behavior on how to cope with difficult situations.

7. Parenting foster children is NOTHING like parenting your own children. I thought since I am the mother of two and stepmother of two, I could handle anything. These last three weeks helped me realize just how wrong I was.

8. Write everything down. I started a notebook for these first two kids in our home, and wrote EVERYTHING down. The behaviors, stories they would tell us about their family life, issues at school. I wrote down every single name and phone number of people involved in any way, shapr or form to this placement. Once the placement ended, I gave copies to the caseworker and kept the originals for myself. Record-keeping is very important.

9. Patience. I didn’t think I had any, but I do. While we were taking our classes and especially once we were officially licensed, I hated the waiting and wondering when a phone call would come. Now that we have our first placement under our belts, I am content with waiting for the right one that will come someday. I know that jumping on those first calls are not always the best choice.

Whew!

Another one of my criteria can be checked off the list.

5. I like being handed a church bulletin chocked full of activities– small groups, bible study, kids functions, women’s luncheons, etc

At church on Sunday, we were handed a bulletin, and THIS was stuck inside

I can’t wait to see how we grow along with this church.

Almost two years ago, I wrote this post about a church we attended back in January 2010. (Has it really been THAT LONG?)

We tried it once, and never went back. Even though we said we would give each new church a three week chance, we never went back.

Until this past Sunday.

Let’s go back a bit. In October 2011, signs started popping up on every street corner in our community about a “new church” opening October 16th. I was excited, thinking it was some huge fancy church that was opening in our areaSince we moved out of Des Moines, we haven’t had much luck finding a Pastor we liked. We never felt that spark, that inspiration, that desire to keep coming back each Sunday.

All I kept hoping was– PLEASE LET ME LIKE THE PASTOR.

So I did some research, and discovered it was the same church we had visited back in January 2010. Since we had last been there, their Pastor had left, a new one joined (recently) and the church had been completely overhauled.

They had a “Friendship Fest” back in October that was free to anyone in the community. It had inflatables, face painting, etc. Even the food was free. I took the two girls that Saturday afternoon, thinking it would be something fun to do while my husband was at work. I also thought it might be a good way to get a feel for the “new” church.

We were there for about an hour, and in that entire time– no one ever spoke one word to us. No one greeted us, no one came up and shook our hand or even bothered to find out who we were.

I was disappointed.

So I didn’t pursue the church anymore.

We spent the next few months in our regular routine of not going to ANY church at all. Then last weekend, I decided I was going to talk my family into going to this church. The kids fought it, because they wouldn’t know anyone there. They wanted to go back to the old church we went to in our community (the one that had the Pastor I didn’t care for.) I reasoned with them and said we would try it ONE TIME, and if they hated it– we wouldn’t have to go back.

Thankfully, they didn’t hate it. They didn’t know anyone, but I had to remind them that we didn’t know anyone the first time we went to our favorite Des Moines church either.

Our criteria hasn’t changed much in the type of church we are looking for:

1. It needs to be located in our community.

2. It must have good music. We prefer the churches with an actual band that plays upbeat Christian music.

3. We want to walk into the church on any given Sunday and see people we know from our community.

4. The pastor has to have personality, and a good sense of humor.

5. I like being handed a church bulletin chocked full of activities– small groups, bible study, kids functions, women’s luncheons, etc

6. The church has to be big enough that we don’t feel like we are the only ones there, but not too big that we feel lost in the crowd.

7. When I walk into the door of a church for the first time, I want to be greeted with a warm welcome and a handshake.

Notice I crossed out number #3. We didn’t know a soul when we went into this church. Not a single person was familiar to us, other than one boy from my daughter’s school that she doesn’t know very well.) I used to think it was important to be amongst people we know, but maybe God has something completely different planned for us.

This is a small church, and it doesn’t have many members right now. It’s just getting off the ground, and I am wondering if THAT is the reason I feel called to this church. Maybe we weren’t supposed to find a church that was already growing or already grown. Maybe God wants US to be the ones to make this church grow. Maybe we’re just getting in on the ground floor of something great– a church full of families, with small groups, and lots of activities. (See #5 & #6 in my list of criteria).

Maybe that’s our purpose, our reason for being led to this church. WE are supposed to help make it grow into the church we want it to be.

And we’re SOOOOOO going back this Sunday.

Maybe I should just ignore it.

Did you know that close to 80% of the New Years resolutions made are not kept?

Every year, people say they are SERIOUS about it “this time”, and yet– we all still fail. Need I remind you of my post from December 30, 2010? How many of you are YOUR own worst enemy?

The one thing I did accomplish in 2011 is that I became a READER again. I found a new love for books after reading close to SEVENTY of them this past year.

So, for 2012, reading will still remain in my list of goals. I won’t even call them resolutions… they will just be called GOALS.

Here we go:

1. Join Weight Watchers – Long term goal is to lose 50 pounds. Short term goal is to lose 20 pounds before July 1st.

2. Read 52 books – I feel since I managed to do it in 2011, I can do it again in 2012. A book a week isn’t too shabby, either.

3. Find a church we like and start going again. Still have to figure out if we want a large church, small church, what denomination we prefer…

4. Start budgeting again via the Dave Ramsey plan. We really only do it halfway right now, which I guess means we really don’t do it all…

What are your New Year’s resolutions GOALS?

If you would like to participate in the August Blog Challenge, go visit Belinda for the daily prompts.

Day 5: What way has God spoken directly to you?

I can say, without a doubt, that we were meant to adopt. When Mark & I met, we both agreed that we were not going to have any more children. Then along came Courtney, who has changed our lives forever. I used to say that she was the piece that completed our family puzzle, but I know there is always room for more in our family. Always more love to share with another child.

So for almost 6 years, we’ve thought about adopting. Different situations, converastions, everything– have crossed our path these past six years, pointing us in the direction of adoption. Some call them signs — I even called them signs– but in the end, God was speaking to us. He was telling us what the next step is in our lives.

It’s been over 4 years since I first even started mentioning on my blog the subject of adoption or having another child , and it’s amazing how God has helped us prepare our lives for this. We have steady jobs, we have our finances in order, we are secure in our marriage… it’s TIME.

Our path to today:

2/8/07 – Where the path leads… Part 1

2/15/07 Where the path leads… Part 2

2/19/07 It’s a thought, a nudge, a sign…

1/8/10 What do you when you’re done having kids…

1/11/10 What are the chances?

1/21/10 The day we went to jail

2/2/10 The Meeting

2/3/10 Moms Like me are not capable…

4/12/11 Full Circle

4/21/11 Clearing The Air

4/25/11 What’s Wrong with being colorblind?

7/7/11 How can you grieve the loss of someone you don’t even know?

7/9/11 Wait, Wait, and um… Wait

“Come Together” by Third Day

You can all call me crazy
For the things that I might say
You can laugh all you want to
I know there will come a day

When we all will come together
And learn to set aside our hate
If we could learn to love our neighbors
Just like we would love ourselves

We’ve got to come together
‘Cause in the end we can make it – alright
We’ve got to brave the weather
Through all of the storms

We’ve got to come together
‘Cause in the end we can make it – alright
We’ve got to learn to love

You can call me a dreamer
But these dreams will come true
Yes, I am a firm believer
In the things that we can do

If we would all just come together
And let the Lord lead our way
There is nothing that we can’t do
There is nothing we can’t face

We’ve got to come together
‘Cause in the end we can make it – alright
We’ve got to brave the weather
Through all of the storms

We’ve got to come together
‘Cause in the end we can make it – alright
We’ve got to learn to love

I know that there will come a day
When the Lord will call His own away
To a place that He has made for all of us

But until the day of His return
There’s a lesson that we’ve got to learn
We are brothers and we’re sisters
We are one

We’ve got to come together
‘Cause in the end we can make it – alright
We’ve got to brave the weather
Through all of the storms

We’ve got to come together
‘Cause in the end we can make it – alright
We’ve got to learn to love

So I was reading through some of my favorite blogs this morning, and stumbled onto this challenge that Stacie is going to participate in. 

Starting July 11th, I am going to try my best to read the Bible in 90 days.   It might be tough, because it will require about 60-90 minutes reading time for 88 days (they give you 2 “grace days”). 

As many of you know, I am notorious for not sticking with any project I start.    When I first saw this challenge, I figured I wouldn’t make it past the first week.

But this challenge is different.   Participants get put into groups and are matched with a mentor. There is someone to be accountable to.   There are people that will be discussing the readings with you.  

It CAN be done.

Care to join me?

I complain a lot. I know that. It’s who I am. I am the type of person that likes things a certain and when they aren’t, I try to change them. Most of the posts I write about on this blog are made up of me voicing my opinion on things I disagree with. It really wouldn’t take you long to go back through my archives and dig up a handful of posts where I am complaining about something— probably something trivial, in the grand scheme of things.

Which is why today I am going to tell you about Nathan & Elisa Bond. I have been reading about this couple and their daughter Sadie (who will turn 2 this September) for a couple months now. Nathan and Elisa are just a few years younger than me, but have so much more reason than I do to complain that the world has given them a raw deal.

On February 14th of this year Nathan was diagnosed with colo-rectal cancer. I know, Happy Valentine’s Day, right?

Nine days later, on February 23rd, Elisa was diagnosed with breast cancer. NINE DAYS LATER. Upon further testing over the next several days, she was diagnosed as Stage 4 breast cancer, and it was discovered the cancer had spread to her liver, many lymph nodes, part of her pelvic bones and parts of her spine.

To say this family has been through the wringer and has been dealt a really bad hand in life is a given. It’s not fair, no one should have to go through this, no child should have to suffer the potential loss of both parents this way. IT’S NOT FAIR.

Reading the way this family is handling these last few months with grace, love and compassion is admirable. Don’t get me wrong, they have their days of being pissed off at the world, and they should. They’re human, they have a right to go through grief and every other emotion. Cancer is a shitty disease, and for your family to receive a double blow like this– well, words cannot describe the emotions they must be going through.

It helps me to realize how truly blessed we should be to wake up every day and be able to spend one more day with our spouses and our children.

Go back and read Nathan & Elisa’s blog, Family “BOND”ing Time, learn more about them– pray for them.

Most importantly, read their most recent post “Break Out the Kleenex” and watch the video at the end. (Just like Elisa instructs, don’t forget the Kleenex.)

Once you’ve finished reading, and watched the video… Go hug your family. Right now.

We made it to church twice in the last three weeks. We couldn’t go on Mother’s Day because of a softball tournament (oh yes– the girls play softball on holiday weekends!). But still, we’ve been to church TWO TIMES.

Holla!