Raising Teenagers

August Blog Challenge – Day 17

August 17, 2011

I am participating in the August Blog Challenge. Thanks to Belinda for the daily prompts!

Day 17: What are you looking forward to the most about kids going back to school?

My kids start back to school TODAY. It seems like the summer has flown by and HOW CAN IT ALREADY BE THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL?

Today, I have a 5th grader and a 10th grader. Wow.

What I am looking forward to the most is no more phone calls while I am at work. I won’t have to listen to my kids tell me they are bored, asking if they can go to the pool, asking if the can go to the Caseys up the street for ice cream or snacks. I won’t get any more phone calls about kids fighting, arguing, and bickering about every little thing.

The other thing I am really looking forward to is settling back into a routine. It’s a crazy busy schedule, but it feels more organized to me. I have an easier time keeping track of things on my calendar during the school year than I do in the summer. It’s back to normal bedtimes and regular family dinners in the evenings.

I can’t wait!

Filed Under: Family Matters, Girls Will Be Girls, Raising Teenagers

Passion

June 20, 2011

I admire my children something fierce. I admire the dedication, motivation and PASSION they have for a sport they love. The time they are willing to commit to something is not a trait they have gotten from me. I never seem to be able to fully commit or stick to anything I do in life, except the commitment I have to my husband and my kids.

But these kids just don’t give up.

There are not many kids that would be devoted enough to give up their entire summer each year to don a pair of black softball pants, long socks, and a jersey. Not m any kids have the ambition to spend their summer evenings and weekends in heat and humidity playing in the dirt of a ball field.

Caitlyn has been playing softball since she was three years old. Now, at almost 16, as she is getting ready to enter her sophomore year of high school, she is in the middle of her second season starting Varsity for her high school softball team. Yes, this girl started Varsity as an 8th grader. Because that’s the kind of love and passion she has for her sport. It’s not just that she is good at it, because trust me, she is. It’s the fact that she is positive, she’s a leader, and she never gives up.

I know sometimes I complain about the cost of the activities my kids are involved in, but when it comes right down to it… seeing their attitude, enjoyment and 110% effort makes it sooo worth it.

For Courtney, it’s soccer. I watched my daughter’s soccer team blow away the rest of the teams in a soccer tournament this past weekend, as they had three solid wins with a total combined score of 24-2. I love watching my kids play sports, especially ones they love and are good at. I have watched them win a slew of soccer games over the last few years, and have watched a few big losses to teams they weren’t expecting. There have been tears of disappointment, and yet– she never quits. She doesn’t think about hanging up her cleats and moving on to something else like I would.

I have watched her face explode with pure joy, with true love and passion for a sport. She followed the road less traveled and picked a sport different from her sister. She left the familiar and went with an unknown, and I am envious of her bravery. She could have gone with softball, learned from her sister’s years of experience, and probably would have been a great player. But she is an individual, and forged her own trail.

Caitlyn's first homerun ball from May 28, 2011. She rocks!

I can’t even explain the pride I feel when watching my kids, the way one always swings for the fences, and the other continues to drive towards the goal. If they continue to live by that simple credo throughout life, they can accomplish anything.

Filed Under: Family Matters, Girls Will Be Girls, Raising Teenagers

Stop Telling Me What To Do!

May 14, 2011

This week marked the beginning of the girls’ High School softball season. Practices started on Monday and will pretty much take place every single day through the middle of July. Unfortunately, we celebrated the beginning of softball season with 90+ degree temperatures.

When the girls are out in the heat and humidity, they try to dress as cool and comfortably as possible. The trend the last couple years is to wear these cutoff t-shirts. They basically take an old tshirt and cut the sleeves off, as well as a good-size chunk out of the side, leaving the sides of the shirt open about halfway down. (see picture… I can’t explain very well.)

Does this make sense? The shirt pictured here is an example, except the girls usually cut a little farther down the side of the shirt than the shirt in this picture. It allows air in the sides of the shirt, and since the girls are all wearing sports bras (which pretty much look like tank tops), the sports bra shows along with some skin. It keeps them cool in the heat, which is good– because they do a lot of running, conditioning and field work.

This was all perfectly acceptable until one of the parents had to go and complain. A parent of one of the younger girls’ — new to the team this season– voiced a complaint that the girls are dressing too skimpy at practice. These cutoff shirts are “too revealing”, and he thinks the girls should be a “little more modest.”

This really bothered me, because again– it’s someone else telling me what my child should and shouldn’t be wearing. If this parents wants to dress his kids more modestly (in his opinion), then he is free to do so. But when even the coaches are dressing like this because of the heat, what is wrong with it? They are at a practice where it is all girls. There are no male students, teachers, or parents– other than when the parents pick some of the younger non-driving girls up after practice. Why is this such a big deal? I mean, the trend has gotten so common lately that even my 10-year old has some of her t-shirts cut off to wear to soccer practice.

If the guys can wear them, girls should be able to as well. Heck, the guys practice with NO shirts on at times.

Am I right? Or again, just crazy?

Filed Under: Girls Will Be Girls, Raising Teenagers

How Short Are Those Shorts?

May 13, 2011

Our local high school has a dress code that is very strictly enforced, especially in warmer weather:

“The cut of sleeveless garments must not expose undergarments or be otherwise immodest. Strapless garments are prohibited. Shoulder straps of permitted garments must be a minimum of the width of two fingers of the person wearing the garment.”

“Bare midriffs, immodestly low-cut necklines, off the shoulder, or bare backs are prohibited. Garments must be of appropriate length, cut and/or fit to meet these requirements while sitting and/or bending.”

“Undergarments shall not be visible. Pants and shorts shall be worn at the waist. Tights or leggings worn as outerwear, spandex, bike shorts, bathing/swimming wear, sleepwear (including pajamas), etc, are not permitted.”

“Shorts and skirts must be of modest length defined as a maximum of 6″ above the knee of the wearer or not above the fingertip of the wearer with the arm fully extended, whichever is longer.”

There’s also the usual parts of the dress code which prohibits vulgar or suggestive sayings/logos on clothing, and the advertising of alcohol or tobacco. This dress code applies to all approved school activities. For example, the cheerleaders are not allowed to wear their uniforms to school on game days, because the skirts do not meet the required length.

When a student is found to be in violation of the dress code, they are given the opportunity to change into something more acceptable. If they do not have anything with them, they are sent home to change. This is counted as an unexcused absence from school and has to be made up in detention.

Those of you with teenage girls– or even pre-teen girls– might be able to relate when I say that it is HARD to find shorts and skirts long enough to meet the dress code in the stores these days. And if you have children that are tall like mine, with long legs, those shorts that might be an acceptable length on one person, end up being too short on my kids.

Trust me when I say that I would never send my children out of the house in something revealing. I don’t let them buy shorts or tank tops if I feel they are too revealing, but the school’s definition of “inappropriate” and “revealing” is seemingly much different than mine.

At a recent Booster Club meeting the other night, it was mentioned that next school year, girls will also not be allowed to wear yoga pants in school. When I asked what the reasoning was behind this, the response was “The boys are a little too attracted to them.” So the four or five pairs of these pants that my daughter owns (which she wears with t-shirts or hooded sweatshirts) will also be outlawed.

I’m basically running out of things my daughter CAN wear to school. For the guys, it’s pretty easy to follow the dress code. It’s a matter of keeping your pants pulled up and not wearing anything with any suggestive logos or writing.

But the girls? I would venture a guess to say that half of my daughter’s wardrobe is in violation of the dress code, thanks to some people probably abusing their privileges (and apprently thanks to boys’ hormones??). Clothing she can wear OUT of school is not allowed IN school. Most girls now resort to wearing jeans, t-shirts, sweatshirts, capris and basketball shorts. And it has to be BOYS or MENS basketball shorts, because the women’s styles are too short.

What do you think? Does your school district have a dress code?

Filed Under: Girls Will Be Girls, On My Soapbox, Raising Teenagers

And Just When I Thought I Had Nothing to Write About Today…

May 12, 2011

I was sitting at work this morning when my teenage daughter, Caitlyn, called me on her cell phone. It was close to 8:00am. She was asking me for a “really big favor.”

Caitlyn had typed a paper for school that was due today, and she had mistakenly left it at home. She was calling to tell me she was driving home to get it, and asked if I would call the school and let them know she would be tardy.

School starts at 8:15am. Keep this information in your brain for later purposes.

Knowing we live almost seven miles from the high school, it was pretty safe to say that it was going to take her a good 20 minutes to drive home, get her homework, get back, and get into the school office. So we’re talking her being 5-10 minutes late to her first class.

I called the high school office, and told them exactly what happened. She got to school, realized she forgot her paper, and she called to tell me she was driving home to get it.

That was when the secretary let out this huge sigh, and said “Well, that’s going to be an execused tardy from first period.”

Um, WHAT? When I asked the secretary how in the world this could be considered unexcused when I am calling 15 minutes before school starts, and saying she’s late because she went home to get her homework. I’M THE PARENT – I’M EXCUSING HER, the school shouldn’t say it’s not excused.

The secretary said she should have left during a study hall instead.

Again, WHAT THE HELL. My kid is a freshman and fifteen years old. She can’t just walk out of the school and go home. As a parent, I would still have to call and let her out. Plus, she needed the paper BEFORE study hall.

After a few minutes of arguing with this lady that seemed to be completely koo-koo-kachoo, she finally agreed to mark the tardy as “Personal Reasons.”

This still just irritates me to no end. As a parent, I should have the right to excuse my child from school if I feel it necessary. That’s my choice as a parent, right?

Am I just being crazy here or what?

P.S. Tomorrow’s post also being brought to you straight from my daughter’s school. Topic: Dress Codes are sexist and this one’s getting WAY out of hand.

Filed Under: Girls Will Be Girls, On My Soapbox, Raising Teenagers