Let’s Get Physical

My name is Jenni, and I am a migraine sufferer.

July 13, 2011

My name is Jenni, and I am a migraine sufferer. These horrible headaches first began when I was 16 years old. That’s twenty-two years worth of headaches. They have varied in frequency over the years, and also varied in their severity. I have had mind-blowing migraines that have kept me in bed all day. Migraines that hurt so bad, I can hardly keep my eyes open– and make it hard for me to walk upright– the pain in my head weighing my body down. Migraines that have kept me hunched over the glorified “porcelain puke bucket” in my bathroom. Migraines that have caused me to miss work and even miss several family events.

I ruined a family vacation a couple years ago, because I had a headache almost every single day. This year, I ruined our family’s 4th of July fireworks festivities because I tried to sit through them with a throbbing migraine– feeling like I was going to toss my cookies the whole time.

Over a year ago, I wrote about giving up caffeine in an attempt to curb the frequency of the migraines. This past April, I celebrated the one-year anniversary of going cold-turkey– one whole year without any caffeinated beverages. But it isn’t getting rid of the migraines.

I have been on several different drugs to try and prevent the headaches, and more drugs to treat the ones I DO get. I have been on Paxil, beta blockers, multi-vitamins, Imitrex, Maxalt, Treximet, Topomax, Flexeril and countless others. I have seen many doctors, I have gone through months of physical therapy, and I have seen a neurologist – THREE DIFFERENT TIMES. There has been bloodwork and CT scans done over the last 22 years, and every doctor thinks they can be the one to help me.

But the truth is, I’m still getting headaches. Lots of them. I get so many, I finally resorted to keeping track of them in my planner. Just this month alone, I have had 5 migraines. FIVE.

I went back to the first of the year, and I counted 54 migraines. Can you believe that? Seriously people, that is one migraine every 3.5 days. I have used up sick days and vacation days at work for the ones that are really bad. But most of them time, I just suffer through them. I get so many headaches each month that I have started cutting my Imitrex pills in half, because my insurance doesn’t pay for enough pills for me to take a whole one every time I get a headache.

I have read articles, books and everything I can get my hands on, to help me find ways to identify what triggers the migraines. I have researched treatments, gotten my hopes up over new ideas, and still — nothing works. I have given up taking birth control pills, because I read that the estrogen can cause migraines. I take daily multi-vitamins, try to eat regularly and usually try to get enough sleep.

And the migraines continue.

So where does that leave me? It leaves me with the three things I have yet to truly make an honest effort trying — regular exercise, losing weight, and good old praying.

It’s time to change that.

Filed Under: About Me, Changing Our Weighs, Let's Get Physical

One Year Celebration

April 24, 2011

One year ago, I made a change in my life. A healthy change. I gave up all caffeinated beverages. No more Pepsi, Mountain Dew, iced tea, or coffee for me… I gave it all up. I am a migraine sufferer, and I was not only trying to find a way to prevent those from occurring so frequently, but I was trying to live healthier and I knew the sugar and caffeine in the extreme quantities of Pepsi and Mountain Dew I was drinking on a daily basis was not good for my body.

So, I am proud to announce that today marks the one year anniversary of my quitting day. I have gone a whole year without it, and I am so proud of myself. I haven’t cheated even once. Not even a sip. To be honest, I’ve even surprised myself because I’ve never had this much willpower before. Part of it is fear, because I’m afraid that the sudden surge of caffeine to my system after going so long without it would trigger a massive migraine. And I’m just not willing to take that chance.

You might want to know what I’m drinking instead? Well, I drink lots of water. I’m a big fan of ice cold water. The filtered water dispenser on our refrigerator gets quite a workout now. I try to get only water when we eat out, but sometimes I will still order a Sprite or 7-Up. At work, I have a huge water bottle on my desk and I try to drink two fillings of that each workday.

I wish I would have done this years ago.

Filed Under: About Me, Changing Our Weighs, Let's Get Physical

It would be so much easier if my husband and my kids didn’t read my blog.

March 16, 2011

So I weighed myself for the first time since the whole “OMG I’m fat!” episode last week.

I’m dealing with it. This morning, the scale rewarded my fairly adequate level of effort with a 1.5 pound weight loss.

It’s progress.

Oh, and that 21-day plan I boasted about? Yeah, thats already shot to hell. I missed a couple days, and now I’ve decided to just start all over again.

And really, it would be SOOOO much easier if my husband and kids didn’t read my blog. Because when I make these confessions about my weight, and these grand plans about fitness? They read about them.

And then they expect me to actually follow through.

Dammit all to hell.

Last night, we were sitting on the couch watching “The Biggest Loser” and my youngest daughter makes a comment to my husband:

“Dad, Mom hasn’t worked out yet today.”

Then they both just looked at me, like I’m really supposed to stop drinking my Casey’s cherry slushie, get off the couch and immediately hop on the treadmill.

AS IF!

Then the Biggest Loser contestants began weighing in. One of my favorite contestants, Marci, weighed in at a fantastic 162 pounds. (And she looks absolutely fabulous, by the way!) I made a comment of, “God, I wish I weighed 162 pounds!”

My daughter’s reply?

“Mom, you’re not going to get there by sitting on the couch, you know.”

Oh, SNAP.

Filed Under: Family Matters, Girls Will Be Girls, Let's Get Physical, Weight Watchers Tagged With: biggest loser, diet, weight loss

21 Days

March 13, 2011

It has been said that it takes 21 days to form a new habit or break an old one. Do something consistently for 21 days and your body and mind will make it a habit.

I will just start this by saying that I have never been able to stick with a weight loss or exercise plan for a consistent 21 days. EVER.

I know what you’re thinking… she’s going to talk about THAT again.

You’re right.

I’m going to try 21 days of exercise. No breaks. Every day I will challenge myself to do at least 30 minutes (preferably 40-45) of cardio exercise for the next 21 days. I started on Friday night,after my debacle on the scale made me feel like a fat, lazy, worthless slob. (Nothing says success like a little positive reinforcement, eh?)

So here’s where we’re at so far:

Friday’s results: 40 minutes total
Elliptical – 20 minutes
Treadmill – 20 minutes

Saturday’s results: 45 minutes total
Elliptical- 30 minutes
Treadmill – 15 minutes

Today will be Day 3. Of freakin’ TWENTY-ONE.

{sigh} I can do this.

Filed Under: Let's Get Physical, Weight Watchers Tagged With: exercise

My Body is a One-derland, or at least it was…

March 11, 2011

So yeah, get the little play on words there?

It happened. It finally happened. I weighed myself a couple days ago and the scale that I have taken for granted all these years finally socked it to me.

It read TWO-hundred pounds. Exactly.

TWO. ZERO. ZERO. Ouch.

I was no longer in the one hundreds. As they say on The Biggest Loser, I was no longer in “One-derland.” I was shocked, and I was devastated. I had never in my life seen that number on the scale before, at least not when I was the one standing on it.

I can remember a day about 5 years ago, stepping on the scale and having it read 161 pounds. I remember even back then, thinking how fat I felt then, and how I needed to start losing weight. I remember getting down to 150 pounds, and thinking it was exactly where I wanted to be.

OH MY GOD. Now look at me. How could I have been embarrassed back then of the way I looked, when I sit here weighing even MORE? Five years since I weighed 150 pounds, and I’ve gained fifty pounds. FIFTY FREAKIN’ POUNDS.

It’s embarrassing, confessing this to the world. But maybe this is the only way that I will finally come to terms with the fact that this is a real problem and it needs to change. I’ve made so many plans in the past to turn this trainwreck around, and I won’t even bother to link back to all the times I’ve professed to all of you that I’m starting this diet or that diet or “this time it will work dammit!”

How did this happen? Where did these fifty pounds come from?

I will make no excuses. The three reasons this happened are:

1. I take in more calories than I burn. Period.
2. I do not exercise.
3. I do not exercise proper portion control.

Some other factors that are contributing to this:
I am currently taking two different medications that have a side effect of “possible weight gain.” I am not using this as an excuse, because I have not been taking either of them for all of the five years. I’m just saying I should be responsible enough to know that I need to be careful and pay attention to my body and take care of myself.

So where do I go from here? What do I do next?

Typically, in the past I would have immediately rushed out and signed back up for Weight Watchers, stuck with it for a week, and then fizzled out. It’s happened at least ten times now, and I sit here now weighing more than I ever have in my life, including being nine months pregnant.

Last night, I had good intentions of starting to exercise. I have no excuses. I have an elliptical machine, a treadmill, and a weight bench in my house. I don’t even have to leave my house to work out, yet these things don’t get used– because I don’t make time for them. But after that 200 was staring back at me, I decided to do something– ANYTHING– to make that number away.

After dinner, my daughter and I went down to the basement to start cleaning off the equipment. Over the last several months, everything had collected dust. Our treadmill had turned into a clothes hanger and box holder. I got it cleaned off, we turned the TV on, and I went upstairs to get my tennis shoes on.

Then, my teenage daughter and her boyfriend noticed that “Oh cool! Everything’s cleaned off!” They spent the next 20-30 minutes messing around on the equipment, and I was NOT going to have them watch my fat ass sweating away on the treadmill, so I plopped down on the couch and waited for them to finish.

Then the phone rang. One of my friends was calling to gossip about some drama going on in our small town, and I ended up spending an hour on the phone.

Finally, I get off the phone and see it’s already 9:40pm.

And of course it’s too late to exercise now, right?

So then the quest to not be fat gets put off for another day.

And the vicious cycle just keeps going, and going, and going…

Filed Under: Let's Get Physical