Almost two years ago, I wrote this post about a church we attended back in January 2010. (Has it really been THAT LONG?)

We tried it once, and never went back. Even though we said we would give each new church a three week chance, we never went back.

Until this past Sunday.

Let’s go back a bit. In October 2011, signs started popping up on every street corner in our community about a “new church” opening October 16th. I was excited, thinking it was some huge fancy church that was opening in our areaSince we moved out of Des Moines, we haven’t had much luck finding a Pastor we liked. We never felt that spark, that inspiration, that desire to keep coming back each Sunday.

All I kept hoping was– PLEASE LET ME LIKE THE PASTOR.

So I did some research, and discovered it was the same church we had visited back in January 2010. Since we had last been there, their Pastor had left, a new one joined (recently) and the church had been completely overhauled.

They had a “Friendship Fest” back in October that was free to anyone in the community. It had inflatables, face painting, etc. Even the food was free. I took the two girls that Saturday afternoon, thinking it would be something fun to do while my husband was at work. I also thought it might be a good way to get a feel for the “new” church.

We were there for about an hour, and in that entire time– no one ever spoke one word to us. No one greeted us, no one came up and shook our hand or even bothered to find out who we were.

I was disappointed.

So I didn’t pursue the church anymore.

We spent the next few months in our regular routine of not going to ANY church at all. Then last weekend, I decided I was going to talk my family into going to this church. The kids fought it, because they wouldn’t know anyone there. They wanted to go back to the old church we went to in our community (the one that had the Pastor I didn’t care for.) I reasoned with them and said we would try it ONE TIME, and if they hated it– we wouldn’t have to go back.

Thankfully, they didn’t hate it. They didn’t know anyone, but I had to remind them that we didn’t know anyone the first time we went to our favorite Des Moines church either.

Our criteria hasn’t changed much in the type of church we are looking for:

1. It needs to be located in our community.

2. It must have good music. We prefer the churches with an actual band that plays upbeat Christian music.

3. We want to walk into the church on any given Sunday and see people we know from our community.

4. The pastor has to have personality, and a good sense of humor.

5. I like being handed a church bulletin chocked full of activities– small groups, bible study, kids functions, women’s luncheons, etc

6. The church has to be big enough that we don’t feel like we are the only ones there, but not too big that we feel lost in the crowd.

7. When I walk into the door of a church for the first time, I want to be greeted with a warm welcome and a handshake.

Notice I crossed out number #3. We didn’t know a soul when we went into this church. Not a single person was familiar to us, other than one boy from my daughter’s school that she doesn’t know very well.) I used to think it was important to be amongst people we know, but maybe God has something completely different planned for us.

This is a small church, and it doesn’t have many members right now. It’s just getting off the ground, and I am wondering if THAT is the reason I feel called to this church. Maybe we weren’t supposed to find a church that was already growing or already grown. Maybe God wants US to be the ones to make this church grow. Maybe we’re just getting in on the ground floor of something great– a church full of families, with small groups, and lots of activities. (See #5 & #6 in my list of criteria).

Maybe that’s our purpose, our reason for being led to this church. WE are supposed to help make it grow into the church we want it to be.

And we’re SOOOOOO going back this Sunday.

This is Jackie Burkle:

Because she killed them.

She killed her two newborn girls. Someone she worked with called the police to check up on Burkle because she was pregnant one day, and then came to work the next day and wasn’t pregnant anymore.

The bodies of the two newborns were found in the trunk of Burkle’s car. Authorities aren’t saying what Burkle did to end the newborn’s lives, but it was clear that she had no intention of letting them live.

This story breaks my heart. Two little girls who could have had a bright future with a loving family will never have that chance. I can’t even fathom how many families are out there waiting, hoping and praying for a baby (or two!) that would have taken these infants into their homes, no questions asked.

What makes this more upsetting to me is that Iowa is one of thirty-one states to adopt a Safe Haven Law for Newborns Act.

The Safe Haven Act is a law that allows parents – or another person who has the parent’s authorization – to leave an infant up to 14 days old at a hospital or health care facility without fear of prosecution for abandonment.

Jackie Burkle could have dropped her babies off at the local hospital. She could have taken them to a Dr’s office and left them. She could have made a different choice the day her daughters were born. She could have given those girls a chance at life. She could have given them a family, with parents and maybe even siblings to love them.

Instead this 22-year old faces two first-degree murder charges, and a family out there is still waiting for a child.

I can’t just sit here twiddling my thumbs waiting for our home study and license to be approved. I feel like I need to be doing something.

Over the last couple months, I have widened our search area to include waiting children outside of our state, as well. While this may cause some added expenses (travel, lodging, etc) for us, I wanted to make sure we investigated all of our options.

And that was when I found two beautiful little boys– a 6-year old in Minnesota and a 5-year old in Missouri.

Knowing that we can’t do anything until we have our homestudy in hand and our license approved, I decided to at least inquire about one of the boys.

I sent an email to Minnesota asking them the procedures for out-of-state couples wanting to adopt.

After waiting and waiting for over two weeks to get a response, one finally came this week. All we have to do is send the home study to them. That’s all they need.

It’s a waiting game this month, and it kills me that January is going to crawl by, because we have nothing to do but wait on our caseworker. As overworked as she is, she’s what we are waiting for.

I just have to keep reminding myself… Progress.

My Christmas music is playing, I have my gifts wrapped, my trees are decorated, school is almost out for Christmas break.

But I’m not feeling it this year. I can’t put my finger on it, but things are different. Maybe it’s the lack of snow, the prospect of knowing we won’t have a White Christmas. Heck, we might not even have a White New Year’s. While I certainly love the dry roads and lack of white stuff, things aren’t the same.

I didn’t get excited about Christmas shopping this year like I usually do, either. The items on my children’s Christmas lists are getting more expensive each year, so there are far fewer gifts under the tree than usual.

I opted not to send out Christmas cards this year, and I haven’t baked one single treat– no cookies, no fudge, no almond-bark pretzels, nothing.

What is it going to take to get me in the Christmas spirit?

Last time I checked, December falls at the same time every year. It’s always on the same page of the calendar, always the 12th month of the year. So I really don’t know why it creeped up on me this year. I feel like I flipped the page from November to December, and I was completely caught off guard. I wasn’t prepared for Christmas, I wasn’t prepared for winter, I wasn’t prepared for anything.

I am, in one word, overwhelmed.

I have to-do lists that are not getting accomplished. The kids are busy with basketball season, and husband is working overtime 6 days a week. Also, he’s going to school two nights a week. Then there’s our weekly adoption classes, which thankfully– we only have two left of.

That leaves me with lists of things to do, gifts to buy, cards that probably will not get mailed out AGAIN (2nd year in a row, FTW!), a house to keep clean, a full-time job, and it leaves me frazzled.

I look at my calendar and see that Christmas is 16 days away, and I have only purchased a small handful of our gifts so far. This is so unlike, as I usually have most of my shopping done around Thanksgiving weekend. I have a home study to prepare for next Friday, which means more housework, husband is studying for finals, and all I want to do is lie down and put my feet up.

I know… cry me a river. Right?

And then I witness something that makes me put everything back into perspective.

Yesterday, I rode along to deliver gifts to Children & Families of Iowa. The employees at the company I work for adopted FIFTY families in need this holiday season, and loaded up a delivery truck with gifts for parents and children. It was incredible. Seeing the people at the organization when this truck pulled and watching the boxes and boxes and boxes and BOXES of gifts being unloaded for FIFTY FAMILIES, y’all!

Now THAT was OVERWHELMING.

I think I can handle my holiday stress for a little while longer.

Some of you might remember this post I wrote back in early September where I mentioned that I needed to clean out our home office upstairs and turn it back into a bedroom.

Well, we finally got it done. It’s cleaned out. Repainted.  New furniture bought. Carpet cleaned.

To refresh your memory, here are the BEFORE pictures:

BEFORE: My side of the home office.

BEFORE: Husband's side of the home office

BEFORE: The messy closet

And now, my friends, I’d like to present… the *mostly* finished bedroom:

AFTER: Now it's a bedroom again!

AFTER: Desk, hutch and dresser

AFTER: The *much cleaner* closet

Once we get closer to being matched with a child, we will obviously do more decorating. Then we will let our son (“our son”- I LOVE saying that!) pick out stuff HE likes for the walls, and his own bedding, posters for the walls, etc. The stuff on the bed now is just temporary and only for show while our home-study is being done.

The details, in case anyone is interested:
Paint: Lowe’s Olympic Paint + Primer – Satin “Puppy Paws”
Furniture: Homemakers Kids Collection
Toys & Stuffed Animals: Donated by future big sister Courtney

Don’t we all want to be *that* mom? That “Supermom” that can do it all? Keeps a clean house, gets her kids to school and every activity, clean and impeccably dressed–and ON TIME– always? That mom that cooks a homemade meal every night and has a sparkling clean kitchen sink, and still makes time to read her Bible in the morning, write in her journal in the evening and even squeeze in a morning 5k run with her friends? That mom that can handle a career and a family and still whip up a mean pot roast?

That mom who never has to frantically throw clutter into a closet when the doorbell rings for fear of a visitor seeing how she “really” lives? That mom whose home could pass the white glove test at any random time? That mom fortunate enough to have given birth to wonderful perfect children who have never done anything wrong, get straight A’s in school, are perfect at everything, have straight teeth, are future homecoming queens/Harvard graduates/nuclear physicists/whatevers, and could never take a bad picture to save their life?

That mom whose hair is always perfect thanks to a $50 salon product, makeup flawless, clothes with nary a wrinkle and always stylish?

Newsflash: Those Supermoms don’t really exist.

I’ve tried over the years to be that kind of mom. I’ve tried to be even a tiny bit *close* to that kind of mom. I’ve written before that I’m far from being this type of Mom. My house is very rarely in a state of being ready for visitors to stop in unannounced.

Actually, I will just go out on a limb and say my house is NEVER like that. If someone rang my doorbell right this second, and stopped over unannounced, I would literally have a heart attack on the spot.

Someone might take a look at my life and think I am managing it all– a job, a family, a marriage, and a home. I am woman, hear me roar!

In reality, I am just keeping my head above water each and every day. You won’t see an immaculate house when you come over. There is usually a laundry basket of  clothes sitting on my family room couch that may or may not need to be folded. I tend to always have at least a few loads of laundry always taunting me from the laundry room. My bed never gets made except {maybe} on the weekends.

And someone PLEASE tell me I’m not the only Mom out there who has had to perform the “sniff test” on an article of clothing to check to see if it’s clean. And even if its not, it might get worn anyways.

I’m just sayin’.

When we ever get around to grocery shopping, we purge our kitchen pantry and refrigerator of lots of expired food. We simply aren’t home enough to eat what we buy.

I don’t carry around a bottle of hand sanitizer and I don’t make my kids wash their hands all the time.   I have never remembered to get my kids (or myself) a flu shot.  EVER.      I often get several reminders in the mail about scheduling them for a bi-annual dentist appointment before I get around to actually DOING IT. 

My kids’ sports uniforms get washed the night before a game, because I usually forget about them until the kids start hunting them down. My house would never ever ever ever pass a white glove test, and you could probably buy yourself a McDonalds Value Meal {or two} with the change you’d find under my couch cushions.  Heck, you just might FIND a McDonald’s Value Meal under my couch cushions. You just never know. You’d at least probably find a french fry or two three.  It might come with a side of dog hair, but still — protein!!  Woot!!

And my kids? Yes I write about how fantastic they are, and what great friends they are, what good choices they make… and yes, they do get straight A’s–usually. But I don’t tell you about the arguments we have, the drama that raising girls causes in our house. I don’t write about the yelling or the fighting or the bickering about who lets the dogs out more than the other, or who’s turn it is to unload the dishwasher, or who did what to who…

I don’t dare mention what it’s like when there is more than one menstruating female in the house (oh yes, husband.  I WENT THERE.)  I don’t mention that I can get all Mama Bear crazy up in this HIZZAY, just because sometimes– it’s all overwhelming.   Really, we’re just real life here, people.   We’re not perfect.  We’re NORMAL.   Or God help me, I certainly hope this is normal. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is I may not be perfect, and I’m done trying to be. I’m raising my kids and managing my family as best as I can. Someone asked me yesterday “Are you sure you’re ready to add another child to your family? That’s going to make you guys really busy!”

And my answer is YES. One hundred and ten percent, YES.

You want to know why?  Because despite the messy house, despite the fact that I am way overscheduled, I know my kids will will grow up with some hilarious stories to tell their own kids someday.     My kids will remember that their mom may not have made a home-cooked meal every single night, but she sure never missed a soccer game or a music program.   They will remember that laundry wasn’t exactly my favorite chore to do, but NEVER did a single day go by that they didn’t hear the words “I Love you.”

Now that’s what I call being a Supermom.

Want a great way to learn something about the strength of your marriage?   Take some adoption classes and see how you and your spouse would answer these questions:

What first attracted you to your spouse?

What do you like most about your spouse? 

What do you think your spouse likes most about you?

What would you most like to change about your spouse? 

What do you think your spouse would like to have you change about yourself?

What would make you want or consider a divorce?

How much time during the week do you and your spouse have alone together, and do you think this is enough time?

What are some ways you spend time together as a couple?

Describe how you show the following emotions to one another as a couple: Happiness, Love/Affection, Anger, Disappointment, Frustration, Sadness/Depression, and Stress

Try sitting down and having you and your spouse each answer these questions separately.  Then share your answers with each other.  It’s a real eye opener, or at least it was for us.  

Photo Credit: ZZCasche

Bring on the cute shoes, people!

Signed,

Woman with Size 10 feet
Mother to a teenager with size 11-12 feet

My side of the messy home office.

Husband's side of the messy office.

It’s a decent-sized room, and I know exactly what I want this room to look like for a little boy. The problem? WHERE IN THE HELL TO PUT ALL OF THIS STUFF. We still each need a space for our desks, so our only feasible option is the basement. The unfinished basement that is currently home to my laundry room and the exercise equipment that I keep telling myself we will use someday. Lastly, our basement is home to the cat litter box, which only gets cleaned out when there is either 1) a lunar eclipse or 2) Haley’s Comet makes an appearance—whichever happens first.

Bottom line,there just isn’t room for any more stuff in the basement. So we are left with either buying a bigger house (not gonna happen), getting rid of some of our crap, or finally, draw straws to see who will be the one sleeping in the garage from now on.

The closet that I already "cleaned out" a week ago. Don't judge me.

I want to just snap my fingers and make it all go away. Close my eyes and when I wake up, the office will be a bedroom. The basement will be an office. And the litter box will be cleaned out.

Where do we even start?