Family Matters

Two Years

January 13, 2012

Almost two years ago, I wrote this post about a church we attended back in January 2010. (Has it really been THAT LONG?)

We tried it once, and never went back. Even though we said we would give each new church a three week chance, we never went back.

Until this past Sunday.

Let’s go back a bit. In October 2011, signs started popping up on every street corner in our community about a “new church” opening October 16th. I was excited, thinking it was some huge fancy church that was opening in our areaSince we moved out of Des Moines, we haven’t had much luck finding a Pastor we liked. We never felt that spark, that inspiration, that desire to keep coming back each Sunday.

All I kept hoping was– PLEASE LET ME LIKE THE PASTOR.

So I did some research, and discovered it was the same church we had visited back in January 2010. Since we had last been there, their Pastor had left, a new one joined (recently) and the church had been completely overhauled.

They had a “Friendship Fest” back in October that was free to anyone in the community. It had inflatables, face painting, etc. Even the food was free. I took the two girls that Saturday afternoon, thinking it would be something fun to do while my husband was at work. I also thought it might be a good way to get a feel for the “new” church.

We were there for about an hour, and in that entire time– no one ever spoke one word to us. No one greeted us, no one came up and shook our hand or even bothered to find out who we were.

I was disappointed.

So I didn’t pursue the church anymore.

We spent the next few months in our regular routine of not going to ANY church at all. Then last weekend, I decided I was going to talk my family into going to this church. The kids fought it, because they wouldn’t know anyone there. They wanted to go back to the old church we went to in our community (the one that had the Pastor I didn’t care for.) I reasoned with them and said we would try it ONE TIME, and if they hated it– we wouldn’t have to go back.

Thankfully, they didn’t hate it. They didn’t know anyone, but I had to remind them that we didn’t know anyone the first time we went to our favorite Des Moines church either.

Our criteria hasn’t changed much in the type of church we are looking for:

1. It needs to be located in our community.

2. It must have good music. We prefer the churches with an actual band that plays upbeat Christian music.

~~3. We want to walk into the church on any given Sunday and see people we know from our community.~~

4. The pastor has to have personality, and a good sense of humor.

5. I like being handed a church bulletin chocked full of activities– small groups, bible study, kids functions, women’s luncheons, etc

6. The church has to be big enough that we don’t feel like we are the only ones there, but not too big that we feel lost in the crowd.

7. When I walk into the door of a church for the first time, I want to be greeted with a warm welcome and a handshake.

Notice I crossed out number #3. We didn’t know a soul when we went into this church. Not a single person was familiar to us, other than one boy from my daughter’s school that she doesn’t know very well.) I used to think it was important to be amongst people we know, but maybe God has something completely different planned for us.

This is a small church, and it doesn’t have many members right now. It’s just getting off the ground, and I am wondering if THAT is the reason I feel called to this church. Maybe we weren’t supposed to find a church that was already growing or already grown. Maybe God wants US to be the ones to make this church grow. Maybe we’re just getting in on the ground floor of something great– a church full of families, with small groups, and lots of activities. (See #5 & #6 in my list of criteria).

Maybe that’s our purpose, our reason for being led to this church. WE are supposed to help make it grow into the church we want it to be.

And we’re SOOOOOO going back this Sunday.

Filed Under: Family Matters, The Big G-O-D

A Sad Day in Iowa

January 11, 2012

This is Jackie Burkle:

Jackie is a 22-year old woman from Huxley, Iowa.

She’s currently in jail, facing two first-degree murder charges.

Why?

She did the unthinkable. She gave birth to twin girls and had no intention of keeping them. Problem is, she didn’t think about letting anyone else have them either.

Because she killed them.

She killed her two newborn girls. Someone she worked with called the police to check up on Burkle because she was pregnant one day, and then came to work the next day and wasn’t pregnant anymore.

The bodies of the two newborns were found in the trunk of Burkle’s car. Authorities aren’t saying what Burkle did to end the newborn’s lives, but it was clear that she had no intention of letting them live.

This story breaks my heart. Two little girls who could have had a bright future with a loving family will never have that chance. I can’t even fathom how many families are out there waiting, hoping and praying for a baby (or two!) that would have taken these infants into their homes, no questions asked.

What makes this more upsetting to me is that Iowa is one of thirty-one states to adopt a Safe Haven Law for Newborns Act.

The Safe Haven Act is a law that allows parents – or another person who has the parent’s authorization – to leave an infant up to 14 days old at a hospital or health care facility without fear of prosecution for abandonment.

Jackie Burkle could have dropped her babies off at the local hospital. She could have taken them to a Dr’s office and left them. She could have made a different choice the day her daughters were born. She could have given those girls a chance at life. She could have given them a family, with parents and maybe even siblings to love them.

Instead this 22-year old faces two first-degree murder charges, and a family out there is still waiting for a child.

Filed Under: Family Matters, In The News

Progress

January 6, 2012

I can’t just sit here twiddling my thumbs waiting for our home study and license to be approved. I feel like I need to be doing something.

Over the last couple months, I have widened our search area to include waiting children outside of our state, as well. While this may cause some added expenses (travel, lodging, etc) for us, I wanted to make sure we investigated all of our options.

And that was when I found two beautiful little boys– a 6-year old in Minnesota and a 5-year old in Missouri.

Knowing that we can’t do anything until we have our homestudy in hand and our license approved, I decided to at least inquire about one of the boys.

I sent an email to Minnesota asking them the procedures for out-of-state couples wanting to adopt.

After waiting and waiting for over two weeks to get a response, one finally came this week. All we have to do is send the home study to them. That’s all they need.

It’s a waiting game this month, and it kills me that January is going to crawl by, because we have nothing to do but wait on our caseworker. As overworked as she is, she’s what we are waiting for.

I just have to keep reminding myself… Progress.

Filed Under: Family Matters, Mission: Adoption

Where’s My Spirit?

December 20, 2011

My Christmas music is playing, I have my gifts wrapped, my trees are decorated, school is almost out for Christmas break.

But I’m not feeling it this year. I can’t put my finger on it, but things are different. Maybe it’s the lack of snow, the prospect of knowing we won’t have a White Christmas. Heck, we might not even have a White New Year’s. While I certainly love the dry roads and lack of white stuff, things aren’t the same.

I didn’t get excited about Christmas shopping this year like I usually do, either. The items on my children’s Christmas lists are getting more expensive each year, so there are far fewer gifts under the tree than usual.

I opted not to send out Christmas cards this year, and I haven’t baked one single treat– no cookies, no fudge, no almond-bark pretzels, nothing.

What is it going to take to get me in the Christmas spirit?

Filed Under: About Me, Around The House, Family Matters

Overwhelmed

December 9, 2011

Last time I checked, December falls at the same time every year. It’s always on the same page of the calendar, always the 12th month of the year. So I really don’t know why it creeped up on me this year. I feel like I flipped the page from November to December, and I was completely caught off guard. I wasn’t prepared for Christmas, I wasn’t prepared for winter, I wasn’t prepared for anything.

I am, in one word, overwhelmed.

I have to-do lists that are not getting accomplished. The kids are busy with basketball season, and husband is working overtime 6 days a week. Also, he’s going to school two nights a week. Then there’s our weekly adoption classes, which thankfully– we only have two left of.

That leaves me with lists of things to do, gifts to buy, cards that probably will not get mailed out AGAIN (2nd year in a row, FTW!), a house to keep clean, a full-time job, and it leaves me frazzled.

I look at my calendar and see that Christmas is 16 days away, and I have only purchased a small handful of our gifts so far. This is so unlike, as I usually have most of my shopping done around Thanksgiving weekend. I have a home study to prepare for next Friday, which means more housework, husband is studying for finals, and all I want to do is lie down and put my feet up.

I know… cry me a river. Right?

And then I witness something that makes me put everything back into perspective.

Yesterday, I rode along to deliver gifts to Children & Families of Iowa. The employees at the company I work for adopted FIFTY families in need this holiday season, and loaded up a delivery truck with gifts for parents and children. It was incredible. Seeing the people at the organization when this truck pulled and watching the boxes and boxes and boxes and BOXES of gifts being unloaded for FIFTY FAMILIES, y’all!

Now THAT was OVERWHELMING.

I think I can handle my holiday stress for a little while longer.

Filed Under: Around The House, Family Matters, Mah Money