Day 1, Level 1

I had it all planned out. I was going to get up right away at 5am when the alarm clock went off, get into some sort of exercise clothing, and do my 20 minute workout. In the wee hours of the morning, so no one else would be able to point their fingers and laugh at the overweight 30-something panting and wheezing and begging for mercy down in front of the big screen TV.

I was pissed off at myself for hitting the snooze buttons enough times that the morning workout didn’t happen. I decided I could do it that evening instead.

I went about my day– got off work, picked up one kid from volleyball practice, took the other to soccer practice, and went about my business. It was after 8:00 last night, when my outspoken eight-year old made it her mission to inform me of the fact that I was supposed to start my 30-Day Shred program.

Oh CRAP.

I trudged up to my bedroom, wrangled the sisters into a sports bra, and donned a tshirt and sweats. I headed back downstairs feeling good about myself. This was AWESOME. How cool was I that I was making a point to go exercise? I SO ROCK.

Once down in the family room I praised tiny baby Jeebus that my daughters both decided they would rather head to their rooms to watch TV rather than sit and watch me die a slow, painful death. Husband was gone at class, so I knew I wouldn’t have to worry about him seeing me ‘get shredded’ either.

I popped the DVD into the player, and all of a sudden there was good ol’ Jillian Michaels, smiling and talking to me like she was a good friend. Of course she wasn’t going to hurt me. She wasn’t going to be mean, she just played a mean trainer on TV. In real life, me and Jillian would be good buds. Right?

That thought lasted about two minutes into the workout.

After three minutes, I had already worked up a sweat. As I laid there on my family room floor after failing miserably at the sit-ups portion of the workout, I yelled out “What do you mean this is only LEVEL 1? You mean it gets HARDER?”

Holy hell, what have I gotten myself into?

I spent the next twenty minutes thinking I was going to die while Jillian coached me through the worst workout of my life. She made me do jumping jacks, and push-ups, and crunches, and –ugh!– reverse crunches.

*shaking my fist in the air* Damn you, Jillian!

But I finished. I took a few small, teeny-weeny (like a few seconds) breaks during the workout. I felt like my heart was going to pound out of my chest. I had sweat running down every crack and crevice of my body. I had my eight-year old come out to the family room two times to tell me I was “doing it wrong.” I had my thirteen-year old come to roll her eyes at me a few times.

BUT I FINISHED. Oh God, I give praise to the heavens. I FINISHED. Panting and writhing on the floor begging for mercy, but I did it.

Only 29 days left to go.

10 things I learned from this first workout:

1. Anita? The gal doing the “moderate level” workout? I HEART HER.
2. I am completely unable to do push-ups. Period.
3. Remember that story about my trampoline? Yeah, that pretty much goes for jumping jacks, too.
4. I have the ability to hurt and be sore in parts of my body that I never knew existed. I ache ALL OVER, people.
5. I will never again laugh at the contestants on “The Biggest Loser” for being wimps.
6. The first step is the hardest. I have 29 more to go.
7. I CAN DO THIS.
8, 9, 10. My fingers are too sore to type.